20140929 1305
忍無可忍
要出去了。M17 First-Aiders let's go.
Sunday, September 28, 2014
20140929 Outcry of Injustice
20140929 0514.
#HKboycott
#HKStudentStrike
#OccupyHK
#hk926
it is in the early hours of the morning. Occupy Central (OCLP) has been launched for a full day and more now, on top of HKFS's student strike and original week-long class boycott. Tensions are rising by the second and mere hours ago Hong Kong witnessed its darkest day. Police used brute force and inhumane brutality on our poor defenseless people, many of whom are students younger than me - university and high school students alike. Out came pepper spray at point blank range (aiming for the face and eyes specifically) and police truncheons/batons, which quickly escalated into ruthless waves of tear gas (which is xx times more toxic than pepper spray) and guns loaded with rubber bullets.
i must say, again and again, ever since my post 3 months ago in response to the 613 東北事件 and the foreshadowing of the 7.1 Democracy March and 7.2 公民抗命, my blood has started to boil at such injustice in the society, and my voice is finally coming out.
20140629: http://lifeinrc.blogspot.hk/2014/06/20.html
三個月前我只是一個無知的少年。很服從，一向只會聽父母一切的話——不要去示威，危險。不要罷課，因爲老師不會罷教。（當然，他們兩都在大學教書，自己又不會罷教，當然也嚴禁自己子女罷課）
但是三個月前突然醒覺，自己長大了，有權利，有能力自己為自己著想，自己有自己的想法，更加思想越來越成熟，要為社會的各種各樣不公義詳細了解，決定自己的立場，發聲。
20140613 東北，看見跟我在教會裏長大的 Sunny Leung 哥哥（應該是跟我同年吧。。。？）作爲前綫人員，衝破立法會。究竟他是暴民嗎？絕對不是。
20140702 遊行后公民抗命，看見哥哥（自己親生啊哥 lol）的女朋友 Athena 因爲參與靜坐而被警察拘捕。究竟她是暴民嗎？絕對不是。
其實此時此刻，仍然對自己的政治立場有所保留。不是完全反對，但是原本就是不支持。但是到了現在，已經不只是對於佔中的立場，面前一張又一張的臉孔，被警察的胡椒噴霧和催淚彈擊中的傷痕，的悲哀，不屈服的精神。。。我忍無可忍了。
常常聼別人說，你不喜歡政治，對政治冷感，躲避不了的，因爲關乎所有人。今天，到我了。罷課大行動和全港不合作行動。
儘管一早已知道父母不會讓我這樣做，我也必須做。不是因爲 peer pressure, 不是因爲恐懼，不是因爲對佔中立場有所改變。但是因爲情況已到了危險關頭，全香港都在奮鬥、在抗命、在支持聲緩學生。這香港已經變了。這幾年已經開始了，只是自己沒有好好留心周圍現實殘酷畫面。
不站出來，也覺得慚愧，總會覺得自己沒有實現公民責任，但是也要告訴自己不要感到迷茫和無助。別人也可能會譴責我只做鍵盤戰士，更加只是 Twitter 的卑微 share photos and retweets 。。。但是起碼我有良知、有想法，不是盲目，不原意被洗腦。
還在成熟的階段中，還有漫長的路途要走。請不要放棄，支持有很多种方法，包括默默在電腦后打句祝福話語。
多麽想出去跟醫療團隊學習，獻上自己卑微的力量去幫手。那爲什麽不去吧，少年。這些機會。。。
不要再説了。更不想用父母做擋箭牌，始終還是過不了自己那關。
今晚過後（現在已清早0607，太陽已升），香港從此不一樣。我們踏進了新的抗命時代，不要為自己沒有盡的所謂 “責任” 跟外出的戰士們道歉，最緊要是自己知道自己在做什麽。
思想的確很重要。
繼續努力。
再吸取經驗（什麽經驗？鍵盤戰士？？？）和教訓。
願香港能回復平安，能夠再歸于香港公民。
Valiant warriors fighting to safeguard our future generation, take care and be safe. Salute to you all.
#HKboycott
#HKStudentStrike
#OccupyHK
#hk926
it is in the early hours of the morning. Occupy Central (OCLP) has been launched for a full day and more now, on top of HKFS's student strike and original week-long class boycott. Tensions are rising by the second and mere hours ago Hong Kong witnessed its darkest day. Police used brute force and inhumane brutality on our poor defenseless people, many of whom are students younger than me - university and high school students alike. Out came pepper spray at point blank range (aiming for the face and eyes specifically) and police truncheons/batons, which quickly escalated into ruthless waves of tear gas (which is xx times more toxic than pepper spray) and guns loaded with rubber bullets.
i must say, again and again, ever since my post 3 months ago in response to the 613 東北事件 and the foreshadowing of the 7.1 Democracy March and 7.2 公民抗命, my blood has started to boil at such injustice in the society, and my voice is finally coming out.
20140629: http://lifeinrc.blogspot.hk/2014/06/20.html
三個月前我只是一個無知的少年。很服從，一向只會聽父母一切的話——不要去示威，危險。不要罷課，因爲老師不會罷教。（當然，他們兩都在大學教書，自己又不會罷教，當然也嚴禁自己子女罷課）
但是三個月前突然醒覺，自己長大了，有權利，有能力自己為自己著想，自己有自己的想法，更加思想越來越成熟，要為社會的各種各樣不公義詳細了解，決定自己的立場，發聲。
20140613 東北，看見跟我在教會裏長大的 Sunny Leung 哥哥（應該是跟我同年吧。。。？）作爲前綫人員，衝破立法會。究竟他是暴民嗎？絕對不是。
20140702 遊行后公民抗命，看見哥哥（自己親生啊哥 lol）的女朋友 Athena 因爲參與靜坐而被警察拘捕。究竟她是暴民嗎？絕對不是。
其實此時此刻，仍然對自己的政治立場有所保留。不是完全反對，但是原本就是不支持。但是到了現在，已經不只是對於佔中的立場，面前一張又一張的臉孔，被警察的胡椒噴霧和催淚彈擊中的傷痕，的悲哀，不屈服的精神。。。我忍無可忍了。
常常聼別人說，你不喜歡政治，對政治冷感，躲避不了的，因爲關乎所有人。今天，到我了。罷課大行動和全港不合作行動。
儘管一早已知道父母不會讓我這樣做，我也必須做。不是因爲 peer pressure, 不是因爲恐懼，不是因爲對佔中立場有所改變。但是因爲情況已到了危險關頭，全香港都在奮鬥、在抗命、在支持聲緩學生。這香港已經變了。這幾年已經開始了，只是自己沒有好好留心周圍現實殘酷畫面。
不站出來，也覺得慚愧，總會覺得自己沒有實現公民責任，但是也要告訴自己不要感到迷茫和無助。別人也可能會譴責我只做鍵盤戰士，更加只是 Twitter 的卑微 share photos and retweets 。。。但是起碼我有良知、有想法，不是盲目，不原意被洗腦。
還在成熟的階段中，還有漫長的路途要走。請不要放棄，支持有很多种方法，包括默默在電腦后打句祝福話語。
多麽想出去跟醫療團隊學習，獻上自己卑微的力量去幫手。那爲什麽不去吧，少年。這些機會。。。
不要再説了。更不想用父母做擋箭牌，始終還是過不了自己那關。
今晚過後（現在已清早0607，太陽已升），香港從此不一樣。我們踏進了新的抗命時代，不要為自己沒有盡的所謂 “責任” 跟外出的戰士們道歉，最緊要是自己知道自己在做什麽。
思想的確很重要。
繼續努力。
再吸取經驗（什麽經驗？鍵盤戰士？？？）和教訓。
願香港能回復平安，能夠再歸于香港公民。
Valiant warriors fighting to safeguard our future generation, take care and be safe. Salute to you all.
Friday, September 5, 2014
ECU Chamber Singers - Good Night, Dear Heart
There's a magic here that didn't exist yesterday when I first clicked on it.
But something about it has caught my attention and I can't push it to the back of my mind when I search for other potential songs RC may sing this year.
Yet this magic has been accumulating bit by bit, slowly, softly, unknowingly. And now when I look at the score properly ... wow. There's just such a powerfully poignant air to it.
RC is still immature. And this song is not particularly difficult in terms of the words or music notes or even structure.
It's the music - the phrases - the message - that's overflowing from this clip of the ECU Chamber Singers - an outburst of emotion - of tears and love, of ages gone, of hope despite sorrow, of faith despite grief and pain, of warm sunny skies despite the darkness and empty vortex of losing a dear dear friend.
Good Night, Dear Heart.
Hope we shall do you justice.
No matter what may happen this year, I will find a way to make it work and make you prouder than ever before, beyond your wildest imagination. :')
Thursday, September 4, 2014
CVS Bedside, 20140904
Bedside with Dr KMM Ma today. Late for 20 minutes, so all the "good" cardiovascular cases were already snagged by other groups. The reserve cases all vanished too - either discharged or no longer existed. :(
Finally chanced upon a CVS case. A very nice elderly gentleman with ESM @ LSB - ejection systolic murmur at the (left) lateral sternal border - barely audible, but I could faintly locate it.
A poorly patient in the bed behind me caught my attention. The nurse was here for blood-taking and other minor procedures, presumably taking the blood sugar (finger-prick) and adjusting the IV cannula. Something about him made me linger in mid air, my focus drifted away from my case and my eyes darted sideways. He couldn't talk - possibly a stroke patient, with multiple co-morbidities. His slurred speech and indecipherable sounds and yelps of pain made me tear up behind my glasses and mask.
I was still recovering from my cold, with a hint of a sniffle and already watery eyes and clogged throat partly filled with thick mucus. I had to put much effort into suppressing my emotions.
Today I finally understood what they meant, when they said "don't get attached to your patients. Keep a certain distance and make the relationship clear - a professional one. Doctor and patient, no more, no less." :(
Having served as a hospital volunteer in the past, and placed in a geriatric ward @ Shatin Hospital, it's not the first time I've seen such cases. Hell, I've even spent days sitting with and holding the hand of a severely affected stroke patient with hemiplegia - couldn't move, couldn't feel, couldn't talk, couldn't eat, couldn't swallow - and required intensive speech therapy every day.
But I couldn't put it past me today.
I knew that I wouldn't be able to specialise in geriatric medicine in the future. Even last year, I knew. The most depressing thing about old people is that most of them do not recover. Though you may improve their quality of life, accompany them, listen to their stories as a kid, "in their days" ... but ultimately it's never a happy ending. With their endless chronic illnesses, masses of co-morbidities, often only able to receive palliative and supportive care ... it gets too much to bear, even for just a day. Not that I don't want to serve them, just that somebody's gotta get the job done, but I just feel that my calling is somewhere else (you will know it if you know me).
My heart weeps for you, good gentleman.
I wish you peace, and a hope for recovery. For relief from suffering, whatever form it may take. That every day may be filled with hidden blessings, that you may discover them, and smile once again.
Though you may never know me, I will keep you etched in the back of my memory, as part of my bedside adventures.
Farewell.
Finally chanced upon a CVS case. A very nice elderly gentleman with ESM @ LSB - ejection systolic murmur at the (left) lateral sternal border - barely audible, but I could faintly locate it.
A poorly patient in the bed behind me caught my attention. The nurse was here for blood-taking and other minor procedures, presumably taking the blood sugar (finger-prick) and adjusting the IV cannula. Something about him made me linger in mid air, my focus drifted away from my case and my eyes darted sideways. He couldn't talk - possibly a stroke patient, with multiple co-morbidities. His slurred speech and indecipherable sounds and yelps of pain made me tear up behind my glasses and mask.
I was still recovering from my cold, with a hint of a sniffle and already watery eyes and clogged throat partly filled with thick mucus. I had to put much effort into suppressing my emotions.
Today I finally understood what they meant, when they said "don't get attached to your patients. Keep a certain distance and make the relationship clear - a professional one. Doctor and patient, no more, no less." :(
Having served as a hospital volunteer in the past, and placed in a geriatric ward @ Shatin Hospital, it's not the first time I've seen such cases. Hell, I've even spent days sitting with and holding the hand of a severely affected stroke patient with hemiplegia - couldn't move, couldn't feel, couldn't talk, couldn't eat, couldn't swallow - and required intensive speech therapy every day.
But I couldn't put it past me today.
I knew that I wouldn't be able to specialise in geriatric medicine in the future. Even last year, I knew. The most depressing thing about old people is that most of them do not recover. Though you may improve their quality of life, accompany them, listen to their stories as a kid, "in their days" ... but ultimately it's never a happy ending. With their endless chronic illnesses, masses of co-morbidities, often only able to receive palliative and supportive care ... it gets too much to bear, even for just a day. Not that I don't want to serve them, just that somebody's gotta get the job done, but I just feel that my calling is somewhere else (you will know it if you know me).
My heart weeps for you, good gentleman.
I wish you peace, and a hope for recovery. For relief from suffering, whatever form it may take. That every day may be filled with hidden blessings, that you may discover them, and smile once again.
Though you may never know me, I will keep you etched in the back of my memory, as part of my bedside adventures.
Farewell.
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