20歲的前夕。。。再次感到空虛、無助、低落。
為咩？
為這個城市，兩年前只差一點點就離開了的安樂窩。
為未來，不是自己的未來，而是香港和香港人的未來。
為今早牧師的講道，為這地的平安。
大學前從來都不關心社會，從來都沒有感受過做香港公民的責任，不喜歡、害怕、躲避時事和政治議題。
但是，大學跟社堂改變了一切。
對，我很被動。
對，我沒有用實際行動去説明自己的立場。
對，我還是恐懼面對這些敏感話題。
但是，我知道自己在不斷地成長，思想在成熟，慢慢在摸索、尋找自我。
也許因爲不斷見到身邊的長輩、老師、師兄師姐、堂友、同學們都在facebook share post，以前會選擇skip和不想理會的事情，今天，會詳細閲讀每一粒字。中文多差也要讀到尾。
最深刻或許是因爲見到在教會裏的一位青少年，跟我同年的，Sunny Leung（現在讀City soc work）。。。在613東北事件，有份參與衝破立法會，爲了社會卻被警察狠狠的毆打。。。我第一次從心底感到，驚恐慌張，不知所措。香港到底變成了什麽的地方。
我不再是小孩。更加應該擁抱長大的過程。20歲，是一個新的開始。因爲太多太多事情而要restart。
再説，今早在教會裏聽到牧師的講道。
很多都忘記了。（慚愧。。。牧師請原諒我吧。。。）
但是。聽到最令我毛骨悚然的是，exactly 100年前，1914，第一次世界大戰爆發。
1945，第二次世界大戰結束，差不多70年前。
而第一次世界大戰跟第二次世界大戰之間，1914到1945，31年。。。
而第二次世界大戰到現在。。。1945到2014，快70年。。。
原來，我們已經享受了70年的平安。
平安是什麽？
當然，中間有無數的Civil Wars，Unrest，悲劇每年都發生。你可以說，現代的世界，陷入困境，歷史也不斷重復。。。一點都不平安。
但是，70年來都沒有世界大戰等級的大型暴亂，這，的確來得不易。
慶幸。
感恩。
但不敢忘記、不敢再無視、不敢再那麽自私只顧及自己，由自己出發。
20了。香港是我家，必須堅守到底。
年輕人，拿出勇氣吧。大學生，step out of your comfort zone，think outside the box，不要再盲目在別人的影子裏躲避。
今年生日，一點都不快樂。
惟有為長大、為成長、為成熟來迎接20吧。
苦笑。
繼續努力。
共勉之~
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Motivational Minute #41 - Dream Big
My hero Nick Vujicic again :')
"What's my biggest dream? To just do my best."
"Dreams start with sort of like this voice in your head saying "are you serious?", even family members saying "you're crazy!"."
"Aim your dreams and goals to the heavens, so if they miss, they're still up there with the stars."
--
:')
Dream-catcher, 2014.06.08 :')
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
2014.06.08 - one of those nights you hope to be etched in your memory, forever.
A concert I was super hyped up about, and what a concert indeed! It delivered on so many different levels, I don't even know which level to begin on. It has taken me two whole days to organise my thoughts and feelings into readable words and understandable expressions - basically :') has represented the lovely shell and happy little bubble I've been floating around in ever since Coach's magic dissipated around the concert hall and touched each and every person's heart. This magic, this power, this invisible force, was incredulous. He had everyone in the palm of his hands, every pair of eyes was glued, fixated onto his whole being, and I didn't dare to breathe for fear of breaking this magic.
I say again, I have never enjoyed a performance so much as that night's.
Let me rephrase.
I have never fallen in love with a performance quite like this one. Everything about it just pulled me towards its centre, a swirling vortex of the mysterious appeal that such beautiful music intrinsically contains deep within. I was mesmerised, transfixed, frozen in time and space, it felt as if the whole world had stopped and the only living thing was the music that flowed through timelessly. I can't even begin to describe it.
It may sound ridiculous, what I'm typing ... fantastical, otherworldly, fiction-like ... but it's true. This is how I feel.
And just as part of the audience, this experience was more than a magic carpet ride. For a long while I felt as if I could step into the shoes of the performers, the amazing CU Chorus, and share this priceless experience from their perspective.
I still remember back in high school, in Year 10, I had to produce a work of creative writing as part of my English Language coursework. And back then since music had taken up a dominating role in my school life, home life, and social life, I decided to embark on a creative musical literary journey (did that sequence of jargon even make any sense...)
In the end, the night before it was due, I named it "The Phenomenon".
In a nutshell, it was a short piece (less than two sides of A4, since there was a word limit) describing an orchestral concert, jumping back and forth between the perspectives of the performer and the listener - two roles which were essentially the same person (myself), and together the shared experience came together to create the entire picture outside the box, which was bigger than the sum of its parts.
Anyway. This experience of seemingly sharing the stage as part of CU Chorus was brought to life right before my eyes, it felt so ... possible ... and so personal, and I just let myself slip away from reality right then and right there, and let everything wash over me ...
Yeah. It hit me that hard. Hope no one ever reads this cos y'all will think I'm bonkers. I dont even know what I typed up there^. Just the bottom line:
I've never completely fallen in love with a performance ... until 2014.06.08.
Bravo, brava. Hats off to every single member of CU Chorus.
Thank you for sharing something so precious, something you hold so dearly to your hearts, something you absolutely poured your whole heart and soul and entire being into.
"That was it."
:')
A concert I was super hyped up about, and what a concert indeed! It delivered on so many different levels, I don't even know which level to begin on. It has taken me two whole days to organise my thoughts and feelings into readable words and understandable expressions - basically :') has represented the lovely shell and happy little bubble I've been floating around in ever since Coach's magic dissipated around the concert hall and touched each and every person's heart. This magic, this power, this invisible force, was incredulous. He had everyone in the palm of his hands, every pair of eyes was glued, fixated onto his whole being, and I didn't dare to breathe for fear of breaking this magic.
I say again, I have never enjoyed a performance so much as that night's.
Let me rephrase.
I have never fallen in love with a performance quite like this one. Everything about it just pulled me towards its centre, a swirling vortex of the mysterious appeal that such beautiful music intrinsically contains deep within. I was mesmerised, transfixed, frozen in time and space, it felt as if the whole world had stopped and the only living thing was the music that flowed through timelessly. I can't even begin to describe it.
It may sound ridiculous, what I'm typing ... fantastical, otherworldly, fiction-like ... but it's true. This is how I feel.
And just as part of the audience, this experience was more than a magic carpet ride. For a long while I felt as if I could step into the shoes of the performers, the amazing CU Chorus, and share this priceless experience from their perspective.
I still remember back in high school, in Year 10, I had to produce a work of creative writing as part of my English Language coursework. And back then since music had taken up a dominating role in my school life, home life, and social life, I decided to embark on a creative musical literary journey (did that sequence of jargon even make any sense...)
In the end, the night before it was due, I named it "The Phenomenon".
In a nutshell, it was a short piece (less than two sides of A4, since there was a word limit) describing an orchestral concert, jumping back and forth between the perspectives of the performer and the listener - two roles which were essentially the same person (myself), and together the shared experience came together to create the entire picture outside the box, which was bigger than the sum of its parts.
Anyway. This experience of seemingly sharing the stage as part of CU Chorus was brought to life right before my eyes, it felt so ... possible ... and so personal, and I just let myself slip away from reality right then and right there, and let everything wash over me ...
Yeah. It hit me that hard. Hope no one ever reads this cos y'all will think I'm bonkers. I dont even know what I typed up there^. Just the bottom line:
I've never completely fallen in love with a performance ... until 2014.06.08.
Bravo, brava. Hats off to every single member of CU Chorus.
Thank you for sharing something so precious, something you hold so dearly to your hearts, something you absolutely poured your whole heart and soul and entire being into.
"That was it."
:')
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