26.03.2014 0320
After choir rehearsal and work (PCP readings ... damnit finally last tutorial tmr, good riddance!)
So tonight for some reason I feel much more spirited and less clogged up with depressing thoughts, absolutely no signs of complicated thoughts, uneasiness, or drifting off into a pool of muddy chaos.
My head is still heavy and to some extent, spinning. Been treating my body not too well lately, and as a result it has had enough of me and started producing cold symptoms. Nose has been stuffed up all day yesterday and today ... couldn't stop blowing noisily during PBL this morning (sorry...) and have had to pop my ears with the occasional cough. Took some of Yeung Wing's dextrochlorpheniramine pills (decongestants) and one of my old anti-inflammatory meds (lysozyme). Don't think my old Strepsils work too well (never trusted those buggers ...)
But ... anyway ... I feel as if work has been tapping me on the shoulder lately, I have put it off for too long, and Finals are fast approaching. I don't feel the doom that many of my classmates do ... yet ... but I know if I want to pass up into Year 3 next year I will have to work my ass off. Soon. Damnit.
Being busy with school is good. Takes my mind off things. Though those crazy accumulative thoughts I previously typed for Coach are still stuck at the bottom of my head. Just wanna crush it and kick it out of my brain. Stupid brain. Always thinking pessimistic thoughts not worth paying attention to, and not creating enough space for actually useful knowledge! Oh, the life of an introvert. >< Is that why I always tell people to be optimistic, tell them I'm optimistic ... but deep down the devil in my head keeps throwing pessimistic ideas around.
Anyway. So my beloved choir. Had a really good time tonight and thoroughly enjoyed myself. Yep even through my hazy voice and stuffy nose. Didn't expect those guys to be able to sing Praise His Holy Name through without major issues, as many of them said they hadn't looked at it since last rehearsal a week ago. But they did, and I had a lot of fun seeing them through the whole piece. Awesome :)
And a bit of a surprise, as it was only the previous night that Coach had started singing 讓生命圓滿 with CU Chorus. And after they posted it online ... I was mesmerised. The message was so strong it struck home immediately, and the simple yet effective melody and harmonies just moved me so much. Purely as a genuine heartfelt comment I told Coach that I loved it very much ... and very unexpectedly ... Coach said, if I would like RC to sing it for Farewell. Wow. I was so shocked at that moment, as I really had no intentions of going down this path when I first made that comment. But as you cannot really express such surprise in a Facebook chat ... our conversation extended and somehow I found myself convincing myself that indeed it would be quite lovely to cover this for Farewell as well. :') thank you Coach!
So all in all, a peaceful day. Feel so much better than a while ago ... perhaps it is because Coach keeps telling me spill so much ... I don't know how much is left in me that's unwilling to come out but still bugging me, but for now I do feel liberated. Why does he always (seem to) manage to do all the right things to pull me out of the mud I'm stuck in?! (haha, just thought of that childhood game "Stuck-In-The-Mud" ... basically a friend of the basic "Tag", but with a slight catch).
I only know that it is my greatest honour and blessing to have such an influential guide in my life. Indeed life is much happier with a good friend. :') just have this tiny gut feeling that I am still socially awkward -_-" and that i won't be able to do much about it in the near future ._.
stop. introverts are awesome too.
in their own way.
:)
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