Monday, April 14, 2014

Study Pressure Post #1

I just wanna study. roar.

The problem with being too involved in hall ... taking up so many posts ... (though yes ultimately all of these are my own choices, is this the consequence I brought down on myself?!)

... the problem is that there are 99999999999999999999999 gazillion little tiny itty bitty bits of this and that that require constant bickering about, require constant monitoring, constant chasing him and her, constant "caring" about. just wanna fling it all off my plate. and study.

never have i wanted so desperately to focus on one thing: study.

well, never in uni, should i say.

just wanna go back to those days before my public exams - GCSE, IB.

just stuck in my Dad's office early each morning with only one mission to fulfill each day: study. Easy? Back then, relatively so.

and the fact that hall people just treat medics like BA students doesn't help at all. Now please don't get me wrong, I'm not looking down on Arts students, I love you guys, my best friend is an Arts student and I totally respect her. But it's just so different, our timetables, our academic schedules, our deadlines. My bff has three days off a week whilst I probably only have one "accidental" day off per semester. My "roommate" (if you know what i mean) has constant 1230 classes and waltzes back at mid-afternoon grabbing people to have afternoon tea with her. (no, please, don't have a bad impression on her based on this description. ofc i'm just exaggerating).

But you get my flow.

And now that medics have hit study-leave and exam season ...

Can i just leave everything else aside.

Probably even the smallest one is also the most annoying - Interfloor basketball competition. It was originally set in early April ... but due to IHP booking problems we ended up settling for 26th April. And now IHP says the hoop or net is broken and they gotta fix it so they cant offer us our original timeslot.

And even though the captains of the boys team have kindly offered to take up most of the admin and communicating work. I still gotta know about these things as one of the (smaller, small potato) organisers of this event. And I'm in charge of the posters. Damn. Thank goodness we haven't printed millions of copies yet.

And I was thinking of going late or leaving early for it, cos the whole thing lasts for 6 hours T_T. But as a captain and an organiser ... no chance. I hate being irresponsible. Hate escaping my duties. If I agree to do something, I must see that it is 200% completed before I push it aside. Bad habit. Sometimes.

As I said to my groupmates in Ocamp last year ... during some deep talk session which was surprisingly fun considering I hate talking and being socially awkward and all ... (again pls don't take me as a mad psychopath, I promise you I'm fully sane and fully human ...), before in high school whenever I partnered up for any type of work ... I'd work my ass off to get my part done early, and if my partner didn't, I made sure his/her part was also up to scratch. And I never went to bed without completing my work first. You know how some people wake up early to work. I could never do that. So instead, I stay up late.

"No rest is worth anything except the rest that is earned".

The first time I saw this quote, was on my brother's laptop a few years back. I didn't know what it meant back then, but I didn't dare ask my brother. In case he laughed at me for being too dumb to understand. (shh).

Now I do. And I totally believe in it. Even though sometimes I do get too tired and fall asleep without putting in that 10% more. Don't take me as a perfectionist, by no means am I one.

I just wanna study.

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